Questions we are often asked as Funeral Directors

We believe it is incredibly important to be well-supported during and after the funeral arranging process. Finding the right funeral director to support you is an important element of this and will hopefully result in you creating a funeral that is right for you and the person who has died. Here, Sara and Jez from Full Circle Funeral Partners in Altrincham have answered some of the questions we are frequently asked. You may find it helpful to ask these questions yourself when you are looking for a funeral director, to help you decide.

In what ways do you differ from other funeral directing businesses in the area?

We work in our business day-to-day. This means we have a direct impact on how the service is run and the quality of support and care we provide. Full Circle Funerals was founded by Sarah, an NHS doctor, with the sole purpose of making the challenging time after loss so much easier for people to manage. She was inspired to develop a funeral service that looks after the person who has died as they would expect to be cared for in life and this makes our approach quite unique. Sarah, our founder, built the business on health and social care principles and has a strong background in pastoral care, which means the wellbeing of the bereaved person is at the heart of everything we do. Our service in Altrincham is built on this ethos and is independently owned by Sara and Jez. You know you will be dealing with one of us whenever you telephone or call in.

Is the owner involved with the day-to-day activities of the business? What role(s) do they have? Will I meet them?

We own and manage our funeral services and are involved in directing funerals. We  believe it is important that we are there for you when you need us to be and nothing will be too much trouble.

As well as being involved in directing funerals, we are responsible for doing everything possible behind the scenes to maintain the highest standards of care. We stay up-to-date with the latest guidance and best practice. We are passionate about raising awareness of good funeral care so that people are more likely to have their needs met, both for their own funerals and when arranging a funeral for someone else.

What did the owner do beforehand?

We both left established careers to become funeral directors. Jez had been a successful recruitment consultant for 20 years. Sara was a solicitor before taking a career break to bring up our two young children and train to become a psychotherapist. We liked the very different and modern approach to funerals that Full Circle had developed and its focus on person centred care.  Both of us have invested time and energy in building our knowledge and skills to offer the best possible service to people we support. We were proud to receive the Bereavement Support Award at the national AGFD Good Funeral Awards in 2023 and Sara volunteers for bereavement charity Cruse as a Bereavement Support Volunteer. We are proud to have been nominated as Funeral Director of the Year in the  AGFD 2024 awards.

Can you advise us on minimising the environmental impact of a funeral?

Yes, we have lots of experience in supporting people with greener funeral choices. We are happy to use our knowledge to guide your decisions, should this be something that it important to you or if it mattered to the person who has died. It may be that the environment is your primary concern when making decisions or you might want to make just a few planet friendly choices. Every little step taken by each person adds up to make a bigger impact overall.

Whereabouts will the person be looked after? Can we see your facilities?

We have everything in place here so that we can look after people at our own premises. It is really important to us that people receive the same care in death that they would expect during their life and we deliver that care ourselves. We are highly trained in all practical and specialist aspects of care and we go above and beyond this to be as respectful and considerate as we can possibly be. If you would like to see our facilities we would be very happy to show you round. Some people are keen to speak openly about what is possible whereas others would rather not. Our conversations will be guided by you and whatever your preferred approach, you will be safe in the knowledge that the person who has died is receiving the best possible care from us.

Who will look after them?

We (Jez and Sara) will look after the person who has died ourselves and we regard it as an  honour to be entrusted with their care. In every Full Circle Funerals service, it will be the Full Circle funeral directors themselves carrying out the care.

Can we come and visit them while they are in your care? How often? How long could we stay? Do you charge for this?

Yes of course. In fact, we would encourage this, if it is what you want. We hope you will feel that nothing is too much trouble and we will use our knowledge and experience to guide you and answer your questions. We know that there is a lot to think about and we will gently discuss whether you would like to see the person who has died in a coffin or in a bed situation, and what this might look like. There are no restrictions on the number of times you visit or how long you stay. However, we will ask you to book a time so that we can make sure you have the whole place to yourself. We are a small team so there may be occasions when we can’t facilitate every request but if this is the case, we will explain why not and suggest an alternative.

Who will be responsible for helping us make arrangements for the funeral?

Jez and Sara will help you plan the kind of funeral you want. Wherever possible, we make sure you have one point of contact for everything because we know how important and helpful this is. We will be guided by you as you explore different choices. We will tailor everything to your wishes in whatever way we can and we can gently suggest ideas should you want support to arrange a very personal funeral.

Will this person be there on the day of the funeral?

Yes, one of us will be there on the day. We know that it is important to have someone there who knows you and understands what is important to you and person who has died.

Can we provide people to carry the coffin, or do we have to have your staff do this?

Yes, if there are people who you would like to be involved in carrying the coffin, we will help you arrange this.  Coffins can be carried on shoulders, or some coffins can be carried using the handles (at waist height) which you might consider if some of the people who would like to carry the coffin are less physically able. If, on the other hand, you would like us to look after this aspect of the service, we can arrange professional pall bearers.

Will you be able to advise us on funeral venue choices? What do you know about the various options available in the area?

Yes, we feel strongly that personal choice is really important and place is a very significant aspect of this.  We have experience of working with the many different venues in the area. We will first of all listen to what you already know or have heard about venues and then look to expand some of your ideas and let you know about all the relevant options in your area, which might include hotels, community halls or even in your own garden.

Creating Personal Memory Boards

We are always inspired by the many ways in which the people we support choose to make a funeral so very personal. This is one of those occasions and we are extremely grateful to Lawrence for allowing us to share the following helpful information about how he created a special ‘Board of Condolence’ for Mary. The following blog is written in Lawrence’s own words.

I was very taken with an idea that came up when we were discussing Mary’s funeral to use Post-it notes rather than a book for condolence, particularly as Post-its were an important part of the training business Mary and I ran for the last 12 years. All our training rooms were covered in them.

For a modern funeral celebration Post-its have some obvious benefits: People can write their messages at their own pace, many doing so simultaneously, and take their time reading the other messages while they post theirs on the board. Also, having colourful notes on the tables and the board brightens up the room for funerals that want a ‘splash of colour’, which is how we also chose to describe our dress code.

Tips for anyone wanting to create a similar Board of Condolence

• It is worth using the original branded Post-it® notes and their ‘Super Sticky’ variety. Nobody should have to spend time picking precious memories off the floor.
• Test the surface you are using for your board beforehand. Even Super Sticky Post-its don’t stick well to whiteboards. I taped a large sheet of white card over an otherwise shiny board in advance to avoid disappointing drop-offs.
• Place some Post-its on the board in advance. Nobody likes to be the first on a blank board and your initial notes can help explain everything. At the start our board contained 8 different coloured Post-its which read ‘Board’ ‘of’ ‘Condolence’ ’Tell us’ ‘Why’ ‘You’ ‘Love’ ‘Mary’. After spotting the board on the way in no one needed to be told what to do. We made no announcements. People just picked up a pad and a pen from the tables or at the bar and gave us some lovely memories and messages.
• Provide a big enough board. We received more than enough notes but probably would have had more if my white card had covered the whole board.
• Don’t make it look like the office or a meeting room. We used a simple wooden artist’s easel (slightly less than 6’ high) which fitted our setting far better than a standard flipchart or whiteboard stand.
• Provide lots of decent size Post-its. 76mm x 127mm worked well for us. We had more than enough for our 120 guests with 12 pads of 90 notes, each split in half, spread across 24 tables each with a pen on top. It was all very colourful and lovely to see people feeling inspired by the abundance of notes.
• Give people the right type of pens/markers. Nobody carries the right sort in their jacket or handbag. Ballpoints and rollerballs are fine for normal writing but don’t stand out well enough on Post-its. On Mary’s board everyone wrote their notes with the 1mm line width fibre tipped pens we provided and the results were clear and visually consistent.
• Remember to take photos of the finished board in case notes are lost and the layout is meaningful to you. Better still use the free Post-it® smartphone app (from 3M) to digitise your notes – available from the App Store and Google Play.

I recommend the following or similar notes and pens:

• Post-it Super Sticky Notes Carnival Color Collection, Pack of 6 Pads, 90 Sheets per Pad, 76 mm x 127 mm.
• Post-it Super Sticky Notes Playful Color Collection, Pack of 6 Pads, 90 Sheets per Pad, 76 mm x 127 mm
• Pentel Sign Pen – Black, Packs of 12.

One other idea that really worked well for us was having physical postcard size photographs of Mary on the tables (in addition to a constant digital slideshow in the background on a large screen).

We used small wire card holders, each with two photos back to back. With the pictures standing upright, it felt a little like Mary was at every table and it certainly encouraged people to move around and mingle to see all the old happy-snappies and new digital reprints and that sparked lots of conversations.

Helping Young People after Online Bereavement

In a time where teenagers and young people form strong relationships online, we need to be able to support them after someone with whom they have an important connection with, has died.  This “digital grief” or “digital bereavement” can have a significant impact on those impacted and we consider how best to offer support in these circumstances.

Respecting the nature and depth of online friendships

Teenagers and young people typically spend a lot of time online, using social media, gaming platforms or other online communities.   Some of these online relationships can develop into friendships that are as deep and as meaningful to them as any non-online friendship.  The anonymity associated with being online may mean that young people are more able and willing to be open and unguarded.

Online relationships provide a way for individuals to connect with others without the pressure of face-to-face interactions. Experiencing a loss of such relationships can be bewildering and lead to feelings of loneliness and distress.  If this bond was private then there is also a risk that the young person may be unintentionally excluded from the funeral or other helpful activities.

Not everyone will understand

Technology is moving so quickly, and we need to accept that not everyone immediately grasps the importance and validity of online friendships.  It hard for young people to find support if they believe that the value and depth of their online relationships are not respected by others.

Sharing how they are feeling with others in their online community can help but, as with any community, not everyone will be supportive.   In extreme circumstances there is a risk that a young person may experience “disenfranchised grief” – a sense that their grief isn’t socially acceptable or is something to be ashamed of.

The first and most important way to prevent this happening is for us all to respect and validate online friendships – only when we do that will the young people we want to support believe that we can support them after bereavement.

Rituals and memorials

Loss and grief are always a unique and personal experience.  Furthermore, there are no well-worn conventions to follow after the death of an online friend.  The person who is grieving is unlikely to be invited to the funeral and even if they are, the event might not reflect the life of the person as they knew them.

We believe that attending a funeral and talking about the person who has died with others who knew them is helpful.  When these opportunities are not as readily available, it may be helpful to explore other ways to acknowledge the loss of an important life and to engage in activities which support the development of continuing bonds.

If the person who died was part of a strong online community, then the group may plan a virtual send-off that pays tribute to the person as everyone in that community knew them.

Memorial pages on social media can be helpful to some, but Facebook only allows memorial pages to be set up by someone with a death certificate which means the whole character of the page may differ from their virtual persona.

Continuing bonds

Continuing Bonds Theory says that when someone dies our relationship with them does not end, but it slowly changes over time.  The bond can remain just as strong, and some activities and rituals may help to establish and maintain the development of these bonds.

There are many individual and group activities which support the development of continuing bonds after someone has died.  Places, times, objects, songs and pictures can all be powerful and meaningful – if ideas and opportunities can be shared with the young person, then they can choose to engage in a way that feels helpful and right for them.

Finding support

Losing an online friend is a genuine loss that can be felt deeply and should never be regarded as inferior to other forms of grief. The grieving process is the same and professionals understand the emotions felt and how to offer support.

There are some excellent online bereavement support groups and grief websites suitable for young people experiencing loss.  Please get in touch if you have any specific questions, or need some advice about where you might find the support you need – we are here to help.

Websites

Teenage Grief Sucks – Grief Support by & for Teens

The Good Grief Trust: Coping with losing a friend – The Good Grief Trust

Young Minds: Dealing with grief and loss | Mental health advice | YoungMinds

Bereavement support

The Counselling and Family Centre (CFC)

Bereavement Support Group – Wednesdays 7-8.30pm. Therapist led. Email [email protected] for a Zoom invitation.

Full Circle Funerals Online Bereavement Support Group

First Wednesday of every month 5.30 to 7.30pm

Tel: 0161 928 6080 for more information

Cruse Bereavement Support, contact your local branch:

Contact your local branch – Cruse Bereavement Support

Sue Ryder – offer free personalised expert grief support by text https://sueryder.grief.coach/

Floral Tributes that Live On

With many of us becoming more aware of the environmental impact of our choices, British grown seasonal plants and living arrangements have become a popular choice for all sorts of occasions, including funerals.

Funeral floral tributes offer huge opportunities to be personal and creative.  With choices ranging from floral letter tributes to floral tributes for funerals inspired by favourite colours, sports teams or places.

Independent funeral directors Jez and Sara Fixter, of Full Circle Partners in Altrincham, helped a local family plan a living arrangement for their mother, specifically designed to be replanted after the funeral.  Floral tributes can be such a meaningful funeral choices, one which truly reflects the person who has died.

The arrangement featured some of their mother’s favourite seasonal blooms, including snowdrops and primula, with trailing ivy and Japanese holly, all of which could be replanted directly into the soil. Tulips and foliage were included which could be recut and displayed in a vase.

They transplanted the elements into their own garden where they can flourish for many years to come and remind them of their mother and her love of plants.

“It can be so comforting to spend time in the garden looking at the plants and bulbs coming up year after year and feeling a continuing bond with the special and important person you are remembering,” explained Sara.

“The wellbeing benefits of gardening really come into their own at difficult times in our lives, such as after bereavement, and our experience has shown us that finding personal ways to stay connected to someone who has died can have an incredibly positive impact on the grief process.”

The arrangement, which was put together by Hale-based florist Bloom & Gorgeous, was created to be naturally environmentally friendly and used peat free soil and a trough that could be reused as a planter.

 “The family felt that being able to replant plants and flowers from the arrangement in their garden would be lovely way to remember and honour her,” said Sara.

“A living arrangement as a floral tribute for a funeral is a very sustainable form of floral funeral tribute which tends to be fitting too, because people who love plants and gardening usually care deeply about the environment.”

The family included another thoughtful touch in the funeral service, displaying a piece of their mother’s embroidery work to recognise her love of snowdrops and her creativity.

“Being able to personalise a funeral creates an opportunity to bring meaning to the event and remember some of the special things about the person.

“Not everyone finds this helpful, of course, and we are always guided by those making the arrangements so that we can provide the information they need to create the kind of funeral they want.

“The important thing is that people know that they have options and that there is really very little that cannot be included, should they wish.”

For more information about Living Arrangements or Funeral Choices contact us.

Find out more about funeral choices.

In this article we are going to look at some of the ways that connections can be maintained with someone after they have died. These continuing bonds take many forms and there are lots of possibilities.

In the past, there may have been a tendency to encourage people “to move forward rather than dwelling on the past” after a significant bereavement.  We now know that this advice can be unhelpful and make people feel isolated and poorly understood. It is now accepted that finding ways to feel an ongoing connection and bond after someone has died recognises the changed nature of a relationship after bereavement and can help people find their own personal way to grieve.

The word ‘personal’ is important here because, just as every relationship is unique, maintaining a connection is a very individual thing. What works for some people will definitely not help someone else. With that in mind, the following ideas are intended to inspire and provoke your own thoughts rather than being prescriptive. We hope you find them helpful.

Photographs

People tell us that they have found it helpful to have a favourite photograph in a special place, perhaps next to a much-loved chair or on a shelf where it is easy to glance across at it often. Some people like to spend time creating an album of photographs, letters, tickets and other memories.

Personal items

Wearing a favourite piece of jewellery, whether it was a gift from the person who has died or an item that belonged to them, can create a very personal and enduring connection. Other personal items such as items of clothing, paintings, creative items or things that the person loved, can have the same comforting effect. Memorial jewellery can also be specially made.

Talking to them

So many people have told us that they take great comfort from talking to the person who has died. Often they feel embarrassed to admit that they do this but it is in fact a very common way to maintain a bond and something that people find incredibly helpful.

These conversations may happen spontaneously or in a more planned way – maybe taking place during visits to a special place.  Conversations may be about sharing news, talking about worries or problems or asking questions,

Talking about them

Other people can find it difficult to know what to say following a bereavement. They may not know how helpful it can be to talk about the person who has died. By bringing the person up in conversation, it can make it easier for you and them. It can also be helpful to talk about the person to new people, sharing the things that were special about them.

Sharing stories, reflecting on what someone might have said or thought in certain situations or remembering what was important to them are all powerful ways to make that person part of your present.

Writing letters or journalling

Journaling is often used when people are grieving as a way of processing emotions and thoughts. Writing letters to the person that has died is a similar idea and can be a useful way to stay connected as your own life moves forward, allowing you to share events, news and feelings.

Being creative

In a similar way to writing letters, creative writing such as poetry can be a helpful way to express emotion. Creativity can take many forms and our Art After Loss exhibitions are evidence of the fact that art can be a very positive vehicle when people are grieving. You can find out more about this on our Art After Loss page on our website which includes an online gallery of creative works made in response to loss.

Special days and places

Significant days like birthdays and anniversaries can be an opportunity to continue doing something which you enjoyed doing together or to take time out for a trip or favourite activity. There may also be places which you liked to visit together and these can be comforting at any time, not just on anniversaries.

Music

Listening to music is an excellent way to connect with our emotions. Some pieces of music may have particular significance for your relationship. You may even want to create your own music in memory of someone who has died. Find out more about music for wellbeing.

A favourite song, or piece of music which was played during a significant event may immediately create a strong feeling of connection to the person who has died.  Playing this music might be consoling but it may also catch you unawares while you are going about your day – which can be challenging.

Organising an event

Sometimes a death can inspire an event in memory of the person who has died and this may become a regular celebration of their life or the things that mattered to them. It might also a way to raise money for a charity that meant a lot to them or supported them during their life.

Continuing their work or ideas

If the person who has died was in the middle of a project, some people find it helpful to complete it for them. Perhaps they were making a model, putting together a family album or a family tree, training for a sporting challenge, raising money for a charity or planning a trip they had always wanted to take.

All of these ideas are simply that, and some will be more helpful than others. You may have formed your own continuing bonds and we would love to hear from you about ways you have been able to stay connected to someone after they have died. Everyone’s journey through grief is different and each person’s story can have the power to inspire somebody who may be struggling.

Read more on this topic and explore some continuing bonds activities that maintain positive memories after loss.  

If you would like support following bereavement please visit our bereavement support page on our website.

You can contact us to discuss any aspect of bereavement or funeral planning and wishes or to share your own story.

When someone is grieving it can be hard to know how best to help. We might tell them that we are there for them and ask if there’s anything we can do but often the person can’t articulate what they need.

A common practice is to bring food – we can show people that we care by taking the time to cook them something nutritious. This is a lovely gesture and is often warmly welcomed by people who might be struggling to think about feeding themselves and their families. A casserole can give them important nutrition at a time when they may be neglecting their wellbeing. A cake can be useful to offer people who drop in to offer condolences.  We also know that nutrition and hydration are important to support wellbeing after the physical and mental stress of bereavement.

Food is a practical way to help and there are plenty of other ways to give useful support after bereavement. Here are a few ideas and things that people have told us they have found helpful.

Tea and coffee

One alternative to bringing a cake or casserole is to make up a basket of teabags and ground or instant coffee, perhaps with a packet of nice biscuits too, that can be used for visitors.

Gardening

Depending on the time of year, an offer to cut the lawn or tidy the garden might be very welcome. Rather than asking whether the person would like their lawn cutting, it might be more helpful to let them know that you cut your lawn on a certain day of the week and will pop across and do theirs for the next few weeks, while you have your mower out. This can make it easier for them to accept the gesture.

Childcare

If there are young children in the family, an offer to take them to the park for a morning or help with school and activity runs is likely to be appreciated. Although they may want to involve their children in discussions about death and visits from well-wishers, the offer of a distraction for younger members of the family and help in maintaining their routine will be appreciated.

Walking the dog

Routine activities like walking the dog can feel like a huge effort following bereavement. An offer to call in once or twice a day to take the dog out is a down-to-earth way to show support. Once again, giving definite times and sticking to them will be extra helpful.

Stay in touch

If you don’t live close enough to offer practical day to day support, keep in touch with a regular phone call or visit. Remember to continue contact after the funeral and keep in mind that there is no timescale for grief. Your support and presence may be needed for some time to come.

A regular message asking – “How are you today?” lets them know that you are thinking of them and avoids asking that one big tricky question “How are you?”.

Arrange activities and outings

Everyone grieves in different ways and some people can take time before they are ready to resume things they used to enjoy doing. They may find it hard to be in group situations because they are worried about becoming emotional. Think about arranging safe activities that can be cancelled at short notice, such as a walk in the park or a trip to the beach.

Again, this is something that can continue for many months after the funeral and may even become a regular routine. When someone is grieving, it can be helpful simply to know that someone is calling in every other Friday for a walk or a cup of coffee, even if they don’t feel up to it on the day.

Don’t worry if your offers are rejected

Grief brings up all sorts of emotions and it can affect the way a person behaves from one day to the next. Try not to take it personally if your offers of help are turned down or if you unintentionally say something that is taken the wrong way. By continuing to be present, available and not taking offence, you will be providing support anyway.

Bereavement is a time of loss and change which is why the constant presence and support of friends and family members is so important. Gratitude may not always be apparent but in the long term, as the person adjusts to their new way of living, your dependability will make a difference.

If you are supporting someone who is bereaved there are some useful resources on our website that may help them. You can find details of creative activities and ways of remembering someone who has died on our page about continuing bonds. We also run a bereavement support group which is open to all.

Human composting, also known as natural organic reduction (NOR), is an alternative to burial or cremation that’s  currently available in some parts of the US. Full Circle Funerals has been supporting Yorkshire lawyer Ian, who’s arranged for his body to be composted, when he dies.  Here he shares with us why he chose this natural approach, and how he discussed his choices with his family.

When did you start to think about the type of funeral you wanted?

Following the death of a neighbour and serious illness in my family, when I turned 70 my own mortality suddenly hit me in the face, and I began to dwell on my death. It made me feel rather depressed, if I’m honest, but it also led me to think about what would happen to my body after I died. I’ve been to a few cremations and was unimpressed, at some, by the fact that they seemed to be no more than a conveyor belt type of service, which was rather impersonal, in my experience, with the Celebrant clearly not knowing the person at all. That said, I’ve attended two, beautiful, cremation services, in Churches, one, in fact, the neighbour’s, arranged by Full Circle, which is why I made contact with them. I also have a bit of a strange phobia of being 6ft under.

What led you to consider human composting as an option?

I read an article about human composting, in the Guardian, a couple of years ago, to which I was immediately attracted, so I was aware of this as an alternative. I’m quite environmentally aware, and like to be forward thinking, and I was an early adopter of the electric car, for example.  Despite this, and the fact that I’m known for being a bit of a non-conformist, when I mentioned human composting to my family, they thought I was absolutely bonkers!

Did you consider any other alternatives?

I looked into human composting in more detail and also looked at other processes such as aquamation, which Archbishop Desmond Tutu had, but, although the equipment is made in Leeds, this isn’t available in the UK, just yet. There’s a freeze-drying/shattering process too, I discovered, but I don’t think that’s got off the ground. I was interested in the Sikh tradition of open pyre funerals, which again involves a natural process, above ground. Following a High Court case that permitted them on religious reasons, I understand they’re now available in Northumbria, but apparently only for Sikhs. My wife and I visited two natural burial grounds, in Yorkshire, but these still involve being buried, somewhat deep underground, which I don’t want.

How did you go about researching and planning for natural organic reduction?

I’m using a company called Recompose in Seattle, WA, USA. My wife did say that she’d prefer my remains to stay in Yorkshire, but we discussed it, and I explained that a traditional funeral service isn’t something I want, as an agnostic. I want to be neither buried, nor cremated, and prefer for my remains to be returned back to nature, as soil, on the surface of the Planet, in a beautiful landscape, and I don’t want anyone to feel any obligation to make a pilgrimage to visit and tend a grave, whatsoever.

The environmental impact is quite important to me too. Cremations use a lot of natural gas, and release a lot of CO₂ etc, and cemeteries use valuable land, that’s in short supply, that could be used for other purposes. I had to confirm that my body could be transported to the US without being embalmed, as that would mean that it couldn’t be composted. I’m pleased to say that this is possible, thanks to David Billington’s researches. The only aspect with a carbon footprint is the flight, but I’ve kind of  justified that to myself in the knowledge that the flight would be going anyway, and it won’t be being arranged just for me. By being a relatively early adopter of this process, in due course, I hope that in the future it will be available more widely, particularly in the UK, so that there’s no need to travel overseas.

How does human composting work?

The whole process is very natural and beautiful. My body will be laid in a cradle within a honeycomb structure above ground and be covered with plant material, including alfalfa, wood chips and straw. I’ve chosen some of my favourite music to be played during my “laying in”. Over the next 30 days, microbes that occur naturally in our bodies and the environment will transform my body into nutrient-dense soil. The whole process is very in tune with people and nature. The soil can be returned to relatives if they live in the US, but I’ve chosen for mine to be used in a mountain re-wilding project near Seattle.

How have you found the process of choosing and setting out your funeral wishes?

It’s been an extremely positive process. I don’t have to worry any more about what will happen to my body after I die, so I’ve no fear of dying now, and it’s really helped me to know what is going to happen in the end, and, until then, I intend to live life to the fullest.

David, at Full Circle, was very friendly, understood my concerns and phobias, helpfully listened to my needs, did the necessary research, and liaised with Recompose, who are also great to work with.

I’ve signed up to Recompose’s “Precompose” plan, where I’m locked in at a fixed price, and pay a monthly instalment, by a direct debit, from my credit card. When I die, Full Circle will set the wheels in motion, in the UK, and send me to Recompose, who will take over from there. Of course, there’ll be additional fees to pay Full Circle, and I set aside a monthly sum, in a savings account specifically for that, so my wife won’t have to worry about finding that money when I go.

The NOR process is now legal in Washington State, California, Colorado and New York State (the most recent adopter). Who knows, legislation permitting, Recompose may one day open a Branch here. My Plan is transferrable to any of their locations, but, at present, I’m staying with their HQ in Seattle, a city I’ve visited, many years ago, and my son lives not too far away in Canada.

You might be reading this because you are planning a funeral for someone who cared about the environment, or you may be thinking about sustainability for your own funeral.  We are often contacted by people who want to know how to make a traditional funeral more eco friendly and families who are planning an eco friendly funeral.

Unfortunately, we don’t currently have a complete answer to the question – “What is the most eco-fiendly funeral?”, but we are wotking on it.  In fact, we are currently undertaking research to generate more data which will help people make informed planet friendly choices about different aspects of a funeral.   We do know that some choices are associated with much lower carbon emissions than others but there is still a lot that we don’t have conclusive data about.

In this article we have chosen to focus on 7 areas to think about when planning a funeral that has a low impact on the environment. There are many more and our team would be happy to discuss the topic in more detail, or answer specific questions you may have about funeral sustainability.

Knowing more about eco-friendly funeral ideas means that you can make choices which are better for the environment, if you want to.  It is a privilege to support people to arrange eco-friendly funeral services and we know how much an eco friendly funeral can mean to people for whom making planet friendly choices is meaningful.

What about cost?  How much is an eco-friendly funeral?  We believe that natual burial is the most eco friendly funeral choice and in most places burial is more expensive than cremation.  Other than that, eco friendly funeral ideas can actually be more affordable than alternatives.  Flowers from the garden, minimising travel and paper and choosing a cardboard coffin can be more economical.

Eco funeral tip 1: Choose to be unembalmed

Green burials, such as woodland burials (more on that in a moment), generally require bodies to be unembalmed. This is because the chemicals used in embalming have been found to seep into groundwater, which can be harmful to the environment. If you care about the planet, we recommend that you specify your preference not to be embalmed.

Eco funeral tip 2: Green funeral travel

At Full Circle Funerals we have our own fully electric eco hearse which is a popular option for those looking to reduce their impact on the environment. In an ideal world, everyone attending the funeral would walk or cycle to the venue. A lot depends on the availability of locations which are easily accessible and the willingness of those attending. It does make sense to consider travel and transport carefully, providing plenty of information on public transport options and car sharing as much as possible. Since the covid pandemic we are all more comfortable with streaming funerals online. This could be offered to people who want to limit their impact on the environment and have a distance to travel, although being present at a funeral can be incredibly important in the grieving process and a person’s decision to travel should always be respected

Eco funeral tip 3: Alternatives to cremation

Cremation is the most popular choice in the UK (78% of people who died in the UK in 2020 were flame cremated using gas) but the process has a high environmental impact due to the energy used and reliance on fossil fuels.  There are a number of alternatives to consider, although the choice in this country is still fairly limited. There are a good number of woodland burial sites, where burials take place in a natural woodland setting and the grave can be marked by planting a tree. Human composting and resomation (natural cremation with water) are other natural processes which have been designed to have low impact, although these are currently only available in the US. Watch this space, as there is growing interest and demand in the UK for green alternatives to cremation.

Eco funeral tip 4: Eco caskets

We recently ran a successful Crowdfunder to fund research into how different coffin types impact the environment. This study is now being carried out by Planet Mark and will gather  data for ten common coffin choices, depending on whether they will be cremated (by flame or resomation) or buried (natural or traditional). The results will help people make more informed choices. In the meantime, eco caskets made from natural materials such as wicker and cardboard, which biodegrade easily, are popular options. There are of course many different variations on the market and some are greener than others, depending on where the materials have been sourced and the caskets made. If you need any more information to help you choose, we would be happy to help.

Eco funeral tip 5: Green options for flowers and tributes

It is now fairly common to request charity donations instead of floral tributes at a funeral. If you do decide to have flowers, the greenest option is to choose locally grown seasonal blooms. Local growers can be found by visiting Flowers from the Farm or ask your florist to use local flowers. Other ideas include paperchains made by friends and family, paper flowers and handmade natural wreaths.

Eco funeral tip 6: Planting a memorial tree or meadow

If you are considering the environment, you may prefer to plant a memorial tree or wildflower meadow as an alternative to a headstone or bench.

Eco funeral tip 7: After the funeral

We know that travel contributes greatly to our environmental challenges and if people are regularly travelling long distance to a grave or other site to remember, then these miles can add up over the months and years.  Post funeral rituals are really important but it is helpful to consider options which require less travelling.  Choosing a place in a family garden for a memorial birdbath or rose bush, or a bench in a local park could be a beautiful and meaningful alternative.

If you would like to know more about green funerals read our blog or contact us  

You can also find out more here.

Flowers can play an important role during the funeral. They can bring comfort after bereavement and be a beautiful way to remember someone who has died. Because of this, you might want to preserve the flowers once the service has concluded. There are a few ways that you can do this.

Pressed Flowers

Pressing the petals will allow you to make beautiful art from your funeral flowers. The good news is that this is very easy to do. In this case, you will need to carefully remove the petals from your flowers. Once you have done this, you will need to press them flat. This can be done by placing them into a book and closing the pages. You will often need to wait for a week for the petals to become flat. If you have a flower press, you can also use this piece of equipment.

Once you have done this, you can spray the flowers with hair spray. While this sounds a little unconventional, it will preserve the color for a few more months. If you want more tips about pressing flowers, check out this article.

After you have dried out your petals, you can turn them into a piece of art to remember the person that has died. For example, you might want to use a hot glue gun to stick them to a piece of paper. This can be marked with the name of the person that has died, the date they were born, and the date they died. Another option is to stick the flowers around a picture frame of the person that has died.

Creating Dried Flowers

If you want to create dried flowers, there are a few options that you can explore. One of the easiest options is to dry-hang them. In this case, you will need to bind the stems together. Then, tie a piece of string around them. Then, you will be able to hang them on a rod or a hanger. Then, you can leave them to air dry. This will often take between three to four weeks. It’s best to do this in a location that doesn’t have a lot of humidity.

Another option you can explore is oven-drying your flowers. In this case, you will need to choose a baking tray and cover it with a layer of sand. Place the flowers in the tray, covering them with sand. Then, place them into the oven, which should be set to 200 degrees Fahrenheit (93 degrees Celsius). Often, it will take two hours for them to dry out, though it’s best to check on them after an hour. After doing this, you will need to wait for the flowers to cool down before you handle them.

A third option is to dry them out in the microwave. In this case, you will need to place a layer of silica at the base of the container. Then, you will need to put the flower on top and cover it with silica. Place a glass of water next to it in the microwave. Then, keep microwaving the flower in 30-second increments until the flower is dry.  You will need to leave it in the silica container for 24 hours. This article gives you more tips on how you can dry out your flowers.

Once you have finished drying out your funeral flowers, you should give them a thin coating of hair spray. This helps preserve the color of the flower. You can then display your bouquet of dried funeral flowers in a vase in your home. The color should last for several months before it starts to fade.

Wax Dipping

Finally, you might want to consider wax dipping your flowers. To do this, you will need to use some melted paraffin wax. This can either be melted in a saucepan or a slow cooker. It’s best to use a pot liner to make the clean-up process easier. Just remember that this type of wax is very flammable, so be careful when you are melting it down.

Once the wax is melted, take the pot off the heat and wait for it to cool. You should be able to stick your finger in without burning yourself. Furthermore, you shouldn’t notice the wax bubbling around the flower, or causing the flower to wilt when you dip it in. If this is happening, it’s a sign that the wax is too hot.

Once the wax is at the right temperature, you will need to dip the flower head into the wax. This is often easier if you trim the stem before you begin. You will need to dip the flower head twice. Then, wait for a few minutes while the wax hardens, preserving your flower. Once the wax is hard, you’ll need to repeat the process, dipping the stem. In the end, the whole flower should have a thin coating of wax. This will help your flowers retain their beauty for several months or years.

Conclusion

A bouquet of beautiful flowers can bring comfort during the funeral and help you remember someone important and unique. This list of funeral flowers can give some ideas for the type of flowers that can be used to create meaningful and personal arrangements. Hopefully, you now have a better idea of some ways to keep these flowers looking fresh for several months, so you can remember the funeral that you created as a final gift.