Continuing Bonds Theory says that when someone dies our relationship with them does not end, but it slowly changes over time. The bond can remain just as strong and some activities and rituals may help to establish and maintain the development of these bonds.
You may wish to keep a lock of hair from the person who has died, or to have some jewellery or a keepsake made with the unique fingerprint of the person who has died. This is a very personal way to have something tangible with you at all times.
Some people choose to do something meaningful with ashes or have them placed somewhere which gives a permanent place to be able to come and visit – if you have not yet decided what to do then our Simple Guide might help you. Deciding the style and words on a headstone can be a helpful process for many and visiting a grave can become a regular and helpful activity for some. Our Simple Guide to choose a Headstone might help you start to decide what is best for you.
We pay for a tree to be planted in Dowgill Grange by Make it Wild in memory of every person we support but this tree can not be visited and many people also choose to have a dedicated memorial tree or wild bouquet to be planted. Alternatively, you may wish to plant a tree or bush in your own garden or for a memorial bench to be placed in a place which is helpful for you.
We have a number of different suggestions about how you might be able to engage children and adolescents in memory making creative activities. For example, spending time making a sand or pebble memory jar can be very helpful and you may find our Sand Memory Jar Video, Sand Memory Jar instructions, Pebble Memory Jar Video and Pebble Memory Jar instructions helpful.
We have also collaborated with Rosalie Kuyvenhoven, celebrant at Rituals today to share how to make her wonderful memory star wand. She has created a helpful video about how to make the Memory Star Wand and we have made some written Memory Wand instructions, which you can print off and use.
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Feedback from the families we have supported