Organising a Funeral

Organising a funeral service involves making a lot of decisions, and this can sometimes get complicated. You may know exactly what you want, which can make things more straightforward, but even then there may be factors you haven’t considered. If the person who died left funeral wishes for you to follow, you may need to balance this vision with the expectations of the attendees, and also with the funeral costs that you can afford to pay.

This can be a difficult time, but the right support can make a big difference. Whether you are writing out your wishes for your own funeral, or trying to make arrangements for someone else, the fundamental considerations will remain the same. As such, it can help to understand the process from start to finish, and all the decisions involved in planning a funeral, before you get going.

Here, the expert funeral directors at Full Circle Funerals have put together a funeral planning checklist that you can use as a guide, to structure your decisions and help you to consider every aspect of the funeral you want – whether for yourself or someone else. That includes balancing the needs of the person who has died and their mourners, but also the practical requirements of finding a funeral venue that can accommodate the service you want to hold.

Funeral planning checklist

If you are planning a funeral for someone else, the first step will begin when the person dies, as there are some administrative duties you must fulfil after a death. If you wish to plan your own funeral service before you die, you may choose not to read this first section.

After the death

When someone dies and the death has been expected, a doctor will be able to issue a death certificate. Then, the death much be registered in the location where the person has died. In most cases, you will be contacted by the medical examiner’s office to confirm that you can register the death, at which point you will need to contact the register office. It is helpful if you can provide certain documents that may be requested, such as the person’s birth certificate, a marriage or civil partnership certificate or an NHS medical card. Once the death has been registered, you can purchase a death certificate, which you may need when managing the person’s affairs.

In situations where the death is unexpected or unexplained, a referral to the coroner will be made. They will then get in touch with you to explain the steps involved in the coroner’s process and how registration of the death will ultimately take place.

The executor of the person’s estate – someone who is named in their will and given the responsibility for managing their assets – will need to look through all their paperwork as one of the responsibilities of administering the estate. This process will help to identify whether the person had a pre-paid funeral plan already in place, in which case they might have already paid for the service they want or have left express funeral instructions that you can follow. If there is no will, then it is said that the person has “died intestate” and then there will be no executor. Funeral arrangements are then generally made by the next of kin.

If they had a life insurance policy, this may also include certain funeral provisions, or their will may specify funeral preferences. This financial documentation can also help to confirm who will pay for the funeral. Costs for most funeral services can be recovered from the person’s estate, but in some cases friends or family members may decide to pay, or a life insurance policy may provide money for this purpose.

Choose a funeral director

Finding the right funeral home and director can be the biggest step towards planning a funeral that meets your requirements. They can talk you through the decisions you need to make when arranging a funeral service and make recommendations for local venues, caterers, flowers and other things you’ll need. Whether you want a basic funeral or something that is specifically customised to your needs, a funeral director can support you.

Many people find it helpful to speak to several funeral directors before making their final choice. You might like to ask them how they would support you, where the person who has died will be cared for and the range of choices that they can make available to you.

Confirm the type of funeral

There are many types of funeral service available, ranging from a traditional funeral or cremation held in a graveyard or crematorium, to a direct cremation with no attendees present, to a bespoke memorial service held at an outside venue. Fundamental to your decision will be whether burial or cremation is the right choice for the person who has died – if they didn’t express their final wishes to you, it can be hard to know which approach to take. Think about any funerals that they attended that they liked, try to remember whether they ever expressed a preference, or ask others who knew them well.

There are also options like natural burial to consider. This is a more eco-friendly type of burial for those who are concerned about the environment. Finally, you must choose whether to hold a religious or non-religious ceremony – this can inform other decisions about the event but is not always as restrictive as you might expect, and there is usually still plenty of scope to customise the funeral service to the person who has died. Your choice of a religious or non-religious ceremony will guide you on choosing a suitable officiant, and your funeral director can advise you as to the options you can choose from.

Decide on a location

Once you have decided whether the person will be buried or cremated, you can choose a location. This might be a natural burial ground, a cemetery, a churchyard or even a function room or village hall. Some places will have restrictions on whether or not you can bring in a coffin, but this is an area where your chosen funeral director can advise you.

Part of this will be choosing the date and time, and you will need to coordinate this with the chosen officiant to make sure they are available. The date you have chosen may impact other decisions – for example, it may affect the availability of particular service providers, which can help to narrow things down.

Plan the ceremony

There are many elements of a funeral service and you will usually need help from a funeral director to tick everything off. Some things to consider as part of this checklist include:

● The coffin: Options range from wooden caskets to eco-coffins made from biodegradable materials. If the person is to be cremated, you may wish to choose an urn in which to store their ashes.
● Flowers or decorations: Flowers and other decorations are a common part of a funeral display. Some people prefer to ask for charitable donations rather than flowers, and your funeral director will support you to make a decision on this before you ask people to attend.
● Food: You may need to organise catering if you are hosting a wake or other service around the funeral itself.
● Travel: You will need to make travel arrangements for the coffin, but many funerals also include transportation for close friends, family members or others. You should decide whether you will provide transport, where from, and for how many people. Your funeral director can then help you to carry out your intentions on the day.
● Funeral music: A funeral venue may provide recommendations for songs or hymns to be played or sung during the service. If you have any special requests for music, you will need to discuss them beforehand – especially if you want a church organist or other musician to play them, or if you need access to a sound system.
● Order of service: You may decide to produce printed orders of service, but in any case you will need to decide on the structure of the event. This will include selecting participants – deciding who will speak, and what they will say.
● Photos: Many funerals and wakes will have photo arrangements or displays in memory of the person who has died. If you wish to have a display like this, you will need to locate the photos you want ahead of time. You may also wish to include these photos in any printed orders of service you distribute.

This checklist can be tailored based on the specific cultural, religious or personal preferences of the person who died but, depending on the type of funeral arrangements you are making, other questions or decisions may arise. As such, working with an experienced funeral director is the best way to make funeral arrangements, as their experience can guide you towards the decisions you need to make and help you to make the right choices. We can also anticipate any complications or considerations that may arise based on your initial decisions, to help you in planning ahead and avoiding unexpected outcomes.

Get expert support

Outside of planning a funeral for someone who has died, there are other administrative tasks you may be presented with – like managing their estate, preparing their obituary, notifying family and friends and managing the upkeep of their property. We will do everything we can to make a challenging time as easy as possible and can signpost to other sources of support (such as local solicitors, a professional declutterer and end-of-life administration support providers).

The team at Full Circle Funerals can help with all of your funeral planning needs. Our funeral directors are based in the North West and can help people across Yorkshire and Cheshire to find the right service for them, whether that’s a customised memorial event, a traditional funeral or a simple service. We also have a funeral planning guide that can help you to consider your options. Contact us to learn more about how we can help you today.

Beautiful Non-Religious Funeral Readings and Poems

Poems and readings can be incredibly comforting at times of loss and their words and meaning can make them a very special part of a funeral. There are lots of well-known readings, Bible verses and popular funeral poems that are traditionally used – but many are unsuitable for non-religious funeral services.

At Full Circle Funerals, we know that there are as many different types of funerals as there are people, and it’s important to customise the service to the person who has died, and those they have left behind. For those who want a completely non-religious ceremony, it can be a challenge to find non-religious funeral poems and readings that capture how you feel.

To help, our team has put together seven of our favourite non-religious poems for funerals that you can use when making arrangements, whether as readings or only as inspiration. You can also combine these non-religious funeral poems with religious readings to account for everyone in attendance.

We have many other suggestions so please don’t hesitate to ask if you would like more ideas. If you need support in planning a religious or non-religious funeral, our expert team is happy to help. Get in touch with Full Circle Funerals to learn more about the planning process and for unique ideas and recommendations based on the things that are important to you.

Not, How Did He Die, But How Did He Live?

By Summer Sandercox

This short funeral verse is an uplifting poem about celebrating life and remembering someone who has made a positive impact on those around them.

Not, how did he die, but how did he live?
Not, what did he gain, but what did he give?
These are the units to measure the worth
Of a man as a man, regardless of his birth.
Nor what was his church, nor what was his creed?
But had he befriended those really in need?
Was he ever ready, with words of good cheer,
To bring back a smile, to banish a tear?
Not what did the sketch in the newspaper say,
But how many were sorry when he passed away?

Death (If I Should Go)

By Joyce Grenfell

Joyce Grenfell was a British actress and satirical writer who became well-known for her wry humour. This poem is often used as a funeral verse because of its sense of fun and positivity.

If I should go before the rest of you
Break not a flower nor inscribe a stone
Nor when I’m gone speak in a Sunday voice

But be the usual selves that I have known
Weep if you must
Parting is Hell
But life goes on
So sing as well.

Roads Go Ever On

By J. R. R. Tolkien

Life is often described as a journey and funerals are a time to reflect on this. This passage from The Lord of the Rings is a popular choice for funerals, particularly non-denominational or humanist ceremonies, because of this metaphor at its heart. In this beautiful reading, Bilbo acknowledges that his journey is complete.

Roads go ever ever on,
Over rock and under tree,
By caves where never sun has shone,
By streams that never find the sea;
Over snow by winter sown,
And through the merry flowers of June,
Over grass and over stone,
And under mountains in the moon.

Roads go ever ever on
Under cloud and under star,
Yet feet that wandering have gone
Turn at last to home afar.
Eyes that fire and sword have seen
And horror in the halls of stone
Look at last on meadows green
And trees and hills they long have known.

The Road goes ever on and on
Out from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
Let others follow it who can!
Let them a journey new begin.
But I at last with weary feet
Will turn towards the lighted inn,
My evening-rest and sleep to meet.

Dear Lovely Death

by Langston Hughes

We chose to include this poem because it introduces the idea of continuing bonds. You can read more about this on the Continuing Bonds section of our website. We have also written a blog, What Are Continuing Bonds, with more information. This concept says that when someone dies, our relationship with them doesn’t end, but it changes. This poem talks about the way things take on new significance after someone has died.

Dear lovely Death
That taketh all things under wing—
Never to kill—
Only to change
Into some other thing
This suffering flesh,
To make it either more or less,
But not again the same—
Dear lovely Death,
Change is thy other name.

Funeral Blues

By W H Auden

This tender poem by Yorkshire-born writer W H Auden was introduced to a new generation by John Hannah in the 1994 film Four Weddings and a Funeral. Funeral Blues is full of emotion and can be very moving when used as a funeral reading. Although the tone is far from uplifting, it can be helpful to some people to acknowledge the hugeness of their grief and this poem does that very well.

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let airplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message “He is Dead”,
Put Crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood,
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

She Is Gone

By David Harkins

People often choose this gentle poem for the funeral of a mother – in fact, it was read at the funeral of the Queen Mother. The words can be changed to make it suitable for a father’s funeral too, which makes this one of the more popular non-religious funeral poems for mum or dad. We think it’s a lovely verse to celebrate the life of anyone, not just a parent.

You can shed tears that she is gone
Or you can smile because she has lived

You can close your eyes and pray that she will come back
Or you can open your eyes and see all that she has left

Your heart can be empty because you can’t see her
Or you can be full of the love that you shared

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday
Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday

You can remember her and only that she is gone
Or you can cherish her memory and let it live on

You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back
Or you can do what she would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

No Matter What

By Debi Gliori

Debi Gliori’s children’s book No Matter What deals with the big worries that little children often have. In the book, Small’s mother says reassuringly, “I’ll always love you, no matter what.” The excerpt below can be used as a tender reading for a funeral where young children may be present. It is also very comforting for all ages.

Small said, “But what about when we are dead and gone, will you love me then, does love go on?”
Large [replied,] “Look at the stars, how they shine and glow, some of the stars died a long time ago. Still they shine in the evening skies, for you see…love like starlight never dies…”

These are just a few of the many non-denominational readings that can be chosen for a funeral, and we have tried to recommend poems you may not have encountered before. However, even the best-known and most popular funeral poems (such as Requiem by Robert Louis Stevenson and Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep by Mary Elizabeth Frye) can make a big impact if you feel a personal connection to their words.

Sometimes, the person who has died will have had a favourite book, author or poem and a reading from this could have significance. They may even have shared an idea when talking about their funeral wishes. If you are thinking about making and sharing your own funeral wishes, you can find more information on our Funeral Plans and Wishes page.

How Full Circle Funerals can help

At Full Circle Funerals, our team has significant experience in supporting people to plan religious and non-religious funerals. Poems and readings can be an important element of a memorial service, but you don’t have to choose them by yourself. Our local funeral directors can start by discussing the person who has died and the type of funeral service you want to arrange. That way, we can advise you on suitable options – whether you want just one short funeral poem for someone to read, or you need help putting together an order of service with readings, poems and songs.

Our funeral planning process starts with you, and we’ll offer a range of options to help you fully customise your service. Whether you want a religious funeral, a non-religious funeral or something in between, we can recommend readings and poems that will set the right tone and create the funeral service you want.

What Does a Funeral Director Do?

Bereavement can be one of life’s most challenging experiences, and funeral directors offer invaluable support during this time. But many people find themselves wondering, ‘What does a funeral director do?’ A funeral director’s work spans practical arrangements, legal responsibilities, signposting and emotional support, to help families and friends through these difficult moments.

The role of funeral directors

A funeral director acts as the organiser and facilitator of all aspects of a funeral. From the moment they are contacted, their primary aim is to support the people who are arranging the funeral so every detail is handled with care, attention to detail, respect and sensitivity. This includes overseeing bringing the person who has died into the care of a funeral home in the community, liaising with other professionals and preparing the funeral service.

Their responsibilities span practical and emotional support. For instance, helping families understand and navigate the statutory paperwork process, from death certificates to registration – is just as important as offering guidance on how to craft a meaningful funeral service. Every step, whether big or small, contributes to feeling supported, easing stress and anxiety and feeling like you have been given the time, space and professional support that everyone deserves – regardless of budget or funeral choices.