Unique Things to Do at a Funeral to Make it More Personal

Whether you’re planning your own funeral in advance, or making funeral arrangements for someone else, there’s a lot to think about. Even if you want a fairly traditional experience, adding personal touches and tailoring the funeral service to a person’s life can make a big difference to the way they (and the day itself) are remembered. Even if you (or the person you’re planning for) want a relatively traditional funeral service, there’s room to customise. From the basics, like floral arrangements or the choice of venue for the wake, to more unique ideas like customised coffins, there are many opportunities to add some personality and reflect the individuality of the person who has died.

At Full Circle Funerals, our funeral directors specialise in personalised funerals that start with the person who has died and the people who will be there to say goodbye. We understand that saying goodbye to a friend or family member is different for everyone, but incorporating a unique funeral idea or two can make the event special, help it to stand out and act as a celebration of life of someone who has died.

A funeral can combine familiar traditions with completely individual touches. Our guide to alternative and personalised funerals explains some of the wider choices available.

If you are still deciding on the overall structure of the day, our funeral-planning checklist can help you work through each choice in turn.

Here, we’ve included several unique ideas and personal touches you can use to make a funeral better suit the person who has died, or customise it to the people who will be attending the service itself. If you have your own ideas, or want to discuss funeral arrangements and learn how Full Circle Funerals can help, get in touch today.

Change the dress code

At most funerals, attendees expect to wear black as a sign of respect. However, those who would prefer their funeral service to be about their life rather than their death might ask mourners to wear bright-coloured clothing or choose a specific type of dress code to make the event feel more like a party. You could choose a specific colour as the theme, whether because it was the person’s favourite colour or because it represents their passion for a particular football team. Alternatively, you can simply request that people choose bright colours that are already in their wardrobe, so they won’t need to go shopping for something that meets the dress code requirements.

Hold a fireworks display

Some people think of a traditional funeral as a sombre affair, but it doesn’t have to be that way. An outdoor fireworks display can act as a celebration of someone’s life, or represent the sparks of inspiration they left you with. Depending on the scale of the event you want to hold, you could hire a company to arrange a display using the person’s favourite colour, or simply buy some of your own on the internet.

Full Circle Funerals also offers memorial fireworks, into which you can put cremated ashes and have them shoot more than 100 feet into the air before scattering in a big, brilliant burst. You can even use sparklers to spell out the person’s name in a long-exposure photograph, which you could put into a photo album as a keepsake. Just remember to follow all safety instructions when using fireworks, and only use them outdoors in areas where you have permission, such as in a garden at home.

Offer personal tributes

There are lots of elements you can add to a funeral service beyond the traditional choices. For example, rather than singing hymns, you could make a funeral playlist of the person’s favourite songs and have this play during the initial procession, or at key times during the ceremony. Families often select non-traditional music – anything from classical or jazz to heavy metal – and many venues are happy to accommodate this. Another option is to hire musicians to perform live music, which can have a more emotional impact.

Bespoke readings or eulogies are a key way to personalise a funeral, but you don’t have to use funeral poems. You could even use extracts from diaries or letters written by the person, or extracts from their favourite novels, in addition to or instead of religious texts. Readings do not have to be religious or traditionally associated with funerals. We have collected some of our favourite non-religious funeral readings and poems if you would like further inspiration. Many venues now have audiovisual equipment with which you can show video montages, clips or digital slideshows. You could use this to show a visual retrospective of a person’s life during the service, or in the background as people enter. This can also be used at a wake, if the venue you have chosen for the funeral itself is not equipped for this purpose.

Customise the coffin or urn

Most funerals involve a procession where the coffin is carried to the front of a church, crematorium chapel or other location, which means that a personalised coffin will immediately draw the eye. Picture coffins can be printed with custom designs like flowers, flags, landscapes or even branded themes (like a football club’s badge and colours). These coffins can also be printed with photographs of the person spending time with their family and friends, or during special moments of their life.

Choosing which photographs to include can be an important emotional moment during a time of grief, and opting for a personalised coffin with photographs of the person who has died will create a truly unique funeral service.

If the funeral involves a cremation, a family member will come into possession of the person’s ashes. Families can choose urns shaped like something that represents the person’s favourite item (e.g. a rugby ball or motorbike helmet) or that are made from eco-friendly or artistic materials, depending on the person’s interests.

Invite mourners to contribute

There are several ways you can ask funeral attendees to pay tribute to the person who has died using interactive elements. For example, it’s common to display a memory table with photographs of the person who has died and some of their belongings. To extend this to attendees, you could invite them to bring an item that reminds them of the person and leave it on the table for others to see. This can be a powerful way to share memories and reflect on how the person affected your life.

Another way to approach this is a memory box. Friends and family place objects connected to their memories of the person into a box, which can be buried, kept or opened at future anniversaries. Alternatively, you could even replace funeral flowers with these objects and create a display, or gather them beforehand and arrange them around the coffin as it makes its journey to the funeral location.

A memory book acts like a guest book, where attendees can leave messages and share thoughts, drawings or anecdotes before, during or after the service. This book will then also act as a keepsake and enable you to revisit memories of the person who has died.

Think about keepsakes

While the traditional choice for a person’s ashes is to contain them in an urn or to scatter them in a favourite location, there are several other options that leave you with a keepsake. Ashes can be transformed into vinyl records, jewellery and other products that act as fantastic items of remembrance, or which can be used as part of a celebratory send-off.

A memorial tree, bench, plaque or headstone can serve a similar function. You don’t have to approach these in a mournful or serious way, and designs that reflect the person’s personality, achievements or humour can add an element of their personality into the space. If your memorial is in a public place, it can help to share some of the person’s individuality with other people, as well as sparking fond memories for people who knew them. Planting the person’s favourite flowers in your own garden is another way for their memory to live on that is more private.

You can also give keepsakes to attendees as mementos. These can be symbolic, such as packets of forget-me-not seeds or tealights that can be burned in remembrance. However, because there are no specific traditions in this area, you can get really creative with what you decide to give away. You can find more inspiration online or by talking to an experienced funeral director.

Personal acts of remembrance can also continue after the funeral. Our guide to maintaining connections after someone has died explores further ideas.